Gaming Lives: Disc Twitching

In extreme cases disc twitching can lead to wishful thinking

You may have already read this over on the good news is you can read it all again now.

What is disc twitching?

Well according to the urban dictionary it’s the following:

Disc Twitching is something gamers do normally in the run up to the launch of a new game. It’s caused by not having anything to do or any new games to play. A symptom of which is putting in old games and playing them for anywhere between 5 minutes and 1 hour but never enjoying any of them. Severe cases of disc twitching can result in the gamer playing the dashboard game which doesn’t even involve playing a game, just flicking around on the NXE dashboard making your Avatar’s eyes spin.


Lee is now playing Mass Effect
“nah don’t wanna play that”

(10 minutes pass)

Lee is now playing Gears of War
“I knew I stopped playing this for a reason”
(20 minutes pass)

Lee is now playing Lost Planet
“I don’t remember buying this”
(3 minutes pass)
/sigh meh
Lee is now offline.

Adam: “lol Lee is disc twitching again”

Raptr updates... they aren't annoying in the slightest.

I know that’s the definition of disc twitching because I just submitted it before staring this article. I also currently have the top result on Google for it but it wouldn’t be fair of me to take credit for it. Adam from the excellent gaming website was the one who coined the phrase on the Saturday before Mass Effect 2 at 16:50 pm, I mentioned it in my Answer to life the universe and everything in it article (you can read it later) it’s not often you read the birth of a phrase is it?

I'm afraid I can't do that Dave

Disc Twitching is without question the worst thing that can happen to a gamer, even worse than getting the Red Ring of Death and your mum lending you her Wii and copy of Wii fit while your Xbox is back in Germany at the Xbox hospital. It’s horrible but it only seems to happen before a Triple-A game. I can quite easily play Mass Effect 2 on insane during the summer drought, well I say easily… it’s bloody hard work in places, but I popped it in on Saturday and just couldn’t get into it. It was nice to hear Kelly tell me I have email again, oh Kelly how I missed you (yes I know I mention it in every article). I managed to get about an hour in before I got stuck on the Collector ship at the floaty platform ambushy bit where about twenty Collectors come at you and those big fat purple tank gits shoot blue goo at you from afar, and I couldn’t do it so turned it off in a fit of rage. I knew I should have taken Garrus! Have you ever known a Krogan to get dropped so easy – it’s like he doesn’t even have a shield?

Then I played The Ballad of Gay Tony, base jumped off one sky scraper then turned that off. I know… I’ll play Portal! I played one level – one of the advanced levels where you have three buttons and one cube, I’m still not entirely sure how I did it. Forza 3 next! Man this game likes to load. Ohh next race twelve laps of Silverstone GP, that’s why I turned that off – I didn’t even race!

Xbox live Arcade… there are loads of good games on there I haven’t played, I just about managed the demo for Toy Soldiers before getting bored of that. Not because it’s rubbish, it’s actually a very good game, a good Sunday game (note to self put “Sunday Game” on urban dictionary). In the end I settled on going for the Realistic achievement on Splinter Cell Conviction – I stuck with that one for the rest of the weekend until I finished it, only to be shafted by a bugged achievement and was done out of 50 bleep bloops. This had put me in a bad mood I’d only done it for the achievements, not that its hard. Mark and Execute made that game way too easy.

Fenceposts don't die, they're just missing in action.

Ah sod it I’ll play the Reach Beta.
Now it’s no secret I’m a Halo Fanboy I even went as far as purchasing a green fence post with the numbers 117 stencilled on from a bloke on a forum which was stupid for three reasons
1) it was expensive

2) I’m not entirely sure it was a genuine licensed product.

3) I don’t have a garden

But when playing the Reach Beta at certain times of the day you can’t help but make the following noises
“tea baggin little prick”
“jesus titty fu…..”
“go’ jes’ fu’ cun’ basta’ bollocks”

Why is there not an option for only playing with the grown ups on Xbox live? Those bloody kids keep killing me and now I know how that grumpy old bloke who lived near the conker tree felt when the football kept landing in his garden. I would tell them to “go play up their own end” except I can’t threaten them with the knowledge of “knowing where their dad works” or sticking my knife in their ball, and without them the “go play up your own end” line is useless. I am, if I do say so, extremely good at killing myself in the Reach Beta, oh and taking pictures I’m good at that too.

I can’t remember what I did after Reach… I recall playing the dashboard for a while. The dashboard game is a game which involves clicking around the dashboard on the Xbox listening to the various click’s and tock’s. We have all played it for longer than we should have. it’s not as good as the old dashboard game is it though? The old one gave you an odd satisfaction from hitting the bumper buttons quickly and hearing that swishy-swooshy noise. After ten minutes of that I just resorted to rolling around on the floor under the coffee table in a Haribo and Fanta fuelled fit. To try and quench my boredom I did that thing where you pull your shirt up over your head for a while, why does that never help?

I’m starting to give serious consideration to playing Wii Fit…
See what you made me do John Marsden??? Damn you to HELL!

Oh wait, I’ve just had an email from Urban Dictionary

Bunch of fuc....

Bunch of fuckers!


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